We have a question on our online application that goes like this, “What would you consider an acceptable reason to call out of work?” The reason we ask the question, of course, is to gauge the potential employee’s attitude and overall approach to calling out. If they are someone who thinks it’s OK to call out because their uncle’s cousin’s niece has a cold or because Fluffy needs a mani-pedi, they probably aren’t going to be a good fit for our clients. In fairness, nobody I’ve seen has admitted to anything that off-base (so far!), but they have provided some funny lines over the past couple of years.
So, without further ado, here are a few real life answers, provided by a sampling of our applicants who applied from April-June 2014, to the “What would you consider an acceptable reason to call out of work?” question. For comedic purposes, I have left them unedited, with most spelling errors intact. Additionally, I sorted the spreadsheet I got these from by this question alone, and left the names off before I even printed it. I have no idea who answered what, and to be fair most of the answers were just fine (we appreciate ALL of our applicants!). But, it sure is hard to resist sharing some of the funny ones on our blog yet again!
Acceptable reasons to call out of work – Part II
(Our comments are in a few places throughout the post and will be italicized.)
From the “Folks who definitely did NOT win a spelling bee in elementary school” category
DEAD OR DIEING
Pheumonia
Near death sitiuations…
Ill only if you were incompassitated
Any sickness that would keep you from proforming the tasks of the job
Baby doctor apportionment
Family death – that be it. Notthing else
Im not ganna call out ever
Life threating emergancy’s
IF THERE IS AN EMERGENCE
A EMERGES
Family death or emergansy…
Immidate family passes away or extremely sick walking ammonia for example
Rick ur car
Car reack
From the “Did you really mean it THAT way?” category
Family member pasted (yeah, we’ve seen that too…)
Sick or deaf in your family
If you have a decease that could affect your co worker’s health. (yes, it probably would!)
Destin family
Car brakes down…
I wouldn’t because I’m a had worker
From the “Don’t use big words unless you know what they mean” category
It is very detrimental for employees to be punctual and have excellent attendance.
From the “Whaaaat?” category
Never work if you are sick or not
The flu, streptacocus, or any other infectious sickness, a broken bone, death in the family, house burned down, or winning the lottery
Having broken bones or so sick ya cant get outa bed or if my car was to quit running but probably an hopily wont
From the “Ugh, club female on head and drag to cave” category
Being in the hospital and your woman having berth
If my babe died or got sick (ok this could have also gone in the “did you mean it that way?” category but it’s funnier here)
From the “Just….WOW” category
No acceptable reason. Maybe if my leg got chopped off.
Something happen to me that makes me unable to work like if both my arms brake
Missing leg
I died
Something catastrophic like my car blowing up or house burning down
You fell down 5 flights of stairs…
Bleeding from the eyeballs…
From the “Now you’re trying just a bit too hard” category
There aint any good reason for calling in
Do not think there is a reason unless your dead or cannot walk
I have to be so sick that I can’t drag myself from bed
If you were physically too sick to work which for me I’d have to almost be dead for that to happen.
I never and have never left my duties (job) for anything
Gastrointestinal and or something that would be highly contagious to others
From the “Hal Lindsey Fan Club” category
Earth ending…
From the “Um, should we do a background check?” category
Legal obligation stating that you have to be in a certain place at a certain time by court order
Seeing probation officer…
Court ordered classes
Legal problems…
From the “Yeah, right…” category
Won the lottery (but only take one day off to meet with lawyers and such) (one day, huh?)
DRUM ROLL PLEASE…From the “And the winner is…” category
Only multiple broken bones or SEVERE flu symptoms (if contagious). And well… death qualifies I suppose. Just imagine the roaming fees for a call like that…
